Daringly Devising Divinationness
by Tape Monkey
Summary: The Marauders don't want to do their Divination homework. What happens when a certain Remus Lupin suggests they make it up? Chaos ensues, that's what! Oneshot. Genre is Western because I'm cool like that.


**A/N Hiya! Just a quick story I wanted to do… hope you like it! (Please like it! I have an inferiority complex and need people to like my stories or else I will be depressed!) (Okay, maybe I exaggerated that a little bit…)**

**Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, then I wouldn't be waiting for my Pottermore email because I'd be J. K. Rowling and she does whatever she wants! Including getting into Pottermore (because she owns it)!**

**P.S. This takes place in their 3****rd**** year, so they know Remus is a werewolf, but they don't have the nicknames and they aren't Animagi yet. Just so ya know!**

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><p>Remus Lupin was trying to get his friends to do their homework. It wasn't working. He had already tried extortion, begging, blackmail, the guilt factor, and more begging, but they still refused.<p>

"But Remus, Divination is dumb!" said Sirius. James nodded vehemently.

"Then why did you sign up for it?" he asked, not for the first time.

"Well…" said Sirius. "I actually have no idea!" Remus sighed. Then he was struck with a wonderful, fantastic, and all around brilliant idea.

"How about if you make up ridiculous futures for the four of us? Trelawney won't notice that they're fake, you know her!" Remus knew right away that he had (finally) said the right thing because James and Sirius were now bouncing up and down with excitement. Yes, two teenage boys were _bouncing_.

"Honestly, you two are so immature that you were still bottle feeding at age 9," Remus muttered.

"Huh? What'd you say, Remmy?" said James, taking a momentary break from bouncing.

"I said, let's get started!" Remus said cheerfully.

"What if Trelawney notices? We might get detention!" said Peter worriedly. Sirius snorted (which made him look ridiculous, but he didn't seem to notice, or care).

"Honestly, Pete, we've gotten enough detentions before haven't we?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's get a move on, we can start with Sirius!" said James loudly, causing several other members of the Gryffindor common room to look at them oddly.

"Well, Sirius will obviously go to prison!" Remus supplied, not completely sarcastically. James laughed and poked his friend.

"Yeah, but at least it'll be for a crime I didn't commit!" Sirius said defensively.

"And then you'll break out, only to be murdered brutally shortly thereafter!" said James delightedly. The other Gryffindors were looking at them even stranger now.

"Keep your voice down, James!" squeaked Peter. "I think Sirius should be murdered by an evil curtain." This sent James over the edge.

"Killed – by – drapery!" James gasped.

"It'll be his cousin's fault, too!" said Remus, grinning evilly.

"Murdered – by – his – cousin!" James was now laughing so hard it seemed almost dangerous.

Remus, sensing that this was about to go downhill, changed the subject.

"Yeah, okay, are you writing this down? I think it's Peter's turn."

"Well, Peter will obviously become a terrible Dark wizard!" said Sirius. This did not help James.

"Peter – a – dark – wizard! Yeah, RIGHT!" he choked out.

"And you'll end up committing – um, how about unintentional suicide, how does that sound?" said Remus, grinning.

"Unintentional suicide?" said Peter, horrified. "That's terrible!"

"Write it down, Sirius. It's James' turn," said Remus. James perked up at the mention of his name.

"Well, I'll get married to my dearest Lily, of course!" said James.

"Yeah, that's real likely," said Sirius. "And obviously the two of you will be murdered, because it's boring if you aren't!"

"Yeah, but it'll be Pete's fault," said Remus absentmindedly.

"I find that very offensive!" gasped Peter. Now Sirius was in hysterics, too.

"Maybe, but our son will go on to save the Wizarding world, of course!" said James. "He'll die, then come back to life, then marry some ginger from a really poor family and name his kids after Snivellus!"

"Now you've really gone off the deep end," said Remus. "Why would your son name his kids after Snape?"

"Oh, just write it down," said James. "And it's your turn now, Remmy!" Remus groaned inwardly. He had hoped that they would forget him.

"Remmy's gonna marry a girl who is currently an infant!" said Sirius.

"That's just creepy," said Peter.

"And she'll have pink hair," said James thoughtfully. Sirius cackled wildly.

"Oh, and I suppose my child's hair will be turquoise blue," Remus deadpanned.

"Yes! That's brilliant!" crowed James.

"And then – wait for it – you and your very young pink-haired wife will – drum roll please – die in an epic battle against a couple of my crazy cousins!" said Sirius.

"_Brilliant!_" yelled James, causing a prefect in the corner to yell at them.

"You realize how ridiculously untrue this all is, right?" said Peter.

"This is gonna be great to turn in to Trelawney!" said James, still giggling.

_Well, _thought Remus, _at least they did their homework for once._

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><p>~25 years later~<p>

Remus, Sirius, and James all sat at the Pearly Gates, watching more and more battle victims file into heaven.

"And you know what the worst part is?" said Sirius glumly.

James and Remus looked at him.

"We all _failed _Divination."

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><p><strong>AN So, that's it! Please review! *puppy dog eyes***


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